🤖 Southern Tier Committee for Verifying Your Representative Is a Person · Report No. 1
Our representative in NY-23 speaks to constituents mainly as a voice on a conference line. He does not appear in fire halls, school gyms, or folding chairs. We have questions, and so far, no one to ask them to in person.
Nick Langworthy wants you to believe he's human. 🤖
But his own office says his telephone town halls reach more than 100,000 people at once.
One hundred thousand.
At the same time.
You can't get a family of five to agree on a pizza order. Your uncle can't hold one conversation at Thanksgiving without bringing up the Bills. And Nick Langworthy wants you to think he's handling a hundred thousand of you at once? On a Tuesday night?
Real humans get tired. Real humans need a bathroom break. Real humans show up to the fire hall in Bath.
Nick Langworthy does none of these things.*
What is he hiding?
Possibly a charging cable.
Too many conversations to be human*That anyone has witnessed in person at a town hall since January 2023. Telephone town hall reach per his office, via WGRZ, March 2025.
The tale of the tape
| Capability | Typical human | Rep. Langworthy |
|---|---|---|
| Talks to 100,000 people at once | No | Per his office, yes |
| Shows up at an in-person town hall | Yes | Not observed since 2023 |
| Fills an empty seat when invited | Yes | Seat remained empty |
| Exists outside a phone line | Yes | Unconfirmed 🤖 |
| Can describe the smell of rain | Yes | Line went dead* |
*Per Gertrude Pixelmann, who is made up.
Step 1 · Human verification
Step 2 · The evidence (real, sourced)
As of April 2025, local reporting found he had not held an in-person town hall since taking office in 2023. We haven't found one since.
WSKG, April 2025He hosts monthly telephone town halls. A disembodied voice that only exists on a phone line is, we note, exactly how a chatbot would prefer to meet people.
WGRZ, March 2025In April 2025, more than a hundred constituents held an "empty seat" town hall in Corning. He was invited. The seat stayed empty.
WSKG, April 2025He ended the long Southern Tier tradition of members of Congress holding frequent in-person town halls across the district.
Buffalo News, December 2023Step 3 · Witness statements (completely made up)
"I drove to the fire hall with a casserole and a question about the farm bill. The casserole was the only one who showed up."Claudious Botsworthfictional retired toaster repairman
"I called into the phone town hall and asked him to describe the smell of rain. Long pause. Then the line dropped."Gertrude Pixelmannfictional amateur Turing tester
"Every time I try to schedule a meeting, I get asked to click all the traffic lights. I've clicked four hundred traffic lights."Dale "Captcha" Hornby 🚦fictional constituent, still clicking
"I've saved him a plate at the fish fry three years running. The plate is still there. The fish has since retired."Barb Kilobytefictional church-supper organizer
"Half the Southern Tier gets one bar of signal on a good day. Out here, a phone-only congressman is a no-congressman."Hank "Two Bars" Mulliganfictional cell-tower climber
"I asked him to select every image containing a boat. He got all of them. Instantly. No human has ever done that."Prof. Ignatius Turing-Smythefictional robotics professor, deeply concerned
In fairness to the possible human
His office says he has held a telephone town hall every month since taking office, reaching more than 100,000 constituents across all nine counties on a typical call. He has called the push for in-person events an organized campaign by national activist groups.
Phone calls count for something. But a town hall you can't walk into, look someone in the eye at, or hand a casserole to is a conference call.
If he really cared, he'd be here. In the fire halls, the diners, the barns, the church basements. He'd know what's actually happening in the Southern Tier and how people actually feel about it. You don't learn that from a call screener in Washington.
But he's got a comfortable job in D.C., and in a district rated R+10 he figures the R after his name does the campaigning for him. Why drive to Wellsville when the letter does the work?
Meanwhile, farmers are struggling. Small businesses are struggling. And the hospitals that keep these towns alive are bracing for cuts he voted for.
The record · swipe or use the arrows
Rural hospitals
He took a dollar.
He handed back 36 cents.
He championed the 2025 "One Big Beautiful Bill" on the House floor and voted for it. KFF estimates it cuts federal Medicaid spending in rural America by about $137 billion over ten years. The "fix" he points to is a $50 billion rural health fund, and only a small share of that can go straight to hospitals and clinics for care.
Groceries
$186 billion off the kitchen table.
The same bill cut SNAP by about $186 billion over ten years. It extends work requirements to people up to age 64, and starting in 2028 it pushes part of the cost onto states like New York. That money doesn't only feed families. It gets spent at local grocers, farm stands and farmers markets.
Health insurance
17 Republicans voted to lower your premiums. He wasn't one.
The enhanced ACA tax credits that kept marketplace premiums down expired at the end of 2025. In January 2026 the House voted 230–196 to bring them back for three years. Seventeen Republicans crossed over, including three from New York: Garbarino, LaLota and Lawler. Langworthy wasn't on the list.
Local news
He cheered cutting the station that covers him.
He backed the 2025 rescission package that wiped out $1.1 billion for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, calling it "restoring fiscal sanity." WSKG, the Southern Tier's public radio and TV station, was getting about $1.3 million a year from CPB. CPB announced it was shutting down weeks after the cut passed.
The Epstein files
When it counted, he voted to keep them shut.
In July 2025, Democrats on the House Rules Committee tried to force a floor vote on releasing the Epstein files. Langworthy sits on that committee, and he voted to block it. Four months later, after the public pressure became overwhelming, the House passed the release bill 427–1 and he voted yes along with almost everyone else. Being the 427th vote isn't leadership. The vote that mattered was the one in July.
Newsweek: who blocked it · News10: Langworthy defends his no vote · NPR: the 427–1 vote
A human representative would come see that for himself. 🤖
Step 4 · Run the Turing test yourself